I came into Aikido from the bashing arts (CQC/H2H, FMA/JKD). Connecting with my opponent just meant my fist, elbow, knee, or foot, and some targeted portion of their body. I was not trying to lead or redirect them. My goal was simply to hit them more and harder than they hit me.

When I started training in Aikido, I would often begin my movement before, or totally without, making any connection. I would tenkan and they would stand there and watch me. The type of thing that makes you wonder if you picked the right art to study. They did not want me to hit anyone. I would go home, wrap the hands, and bash a heavy bag to get out the frustration I got from aikido training.

Connect: (1) to become joined or logically linked, (2) to have or established rapport, (3) to join or fasten together, (4) to place or establish in relationship (5) to make a successful hit, shot, throw.

Okay, I understood the last one. Now that was my kind of connectedness. Why would I want to connect any other way?

In one of my first seminars with Shihan Hiroshi Ikeda, of Boulder (CO) Aikikai, he would say that when someone grabbed him, that he had them. Then he would do a technique and say, “Understand?” Nope, did not even see it, let alone understand it. I recently told him that each time we train, I see a little more. Like a boxcar attaching to the engine, once attached, the engine takes out the slack and pulls out of the station completely connected and in charge. The connectedness was an energetic physical connection and a mental attitude.

Connectedness is cause and effect. Connectedness is connecting the dots and because we often cause the response or reaction we receive. As Uke in Aikido, how I approach and attack, affects the Tori’s ability to apply certain techniques. How I respond to the approach and attack, affects the Uke’s ability to counter or how the take the throw or lock. It is a dance between the two of us. Like any dance, it works best if we are moving to the same rhythmic beat. I do not tell my dance partners how to dance, I simply move myself and they respond accordingly.

In the Internet forums I am amazed at the number of participants who make no connection between how they express themselves or respond to others and the amount of hostility they receive. It is cause and effect. It is all connected. Connect the dots.

Connectedness means accepting the responsible and accountability for cause and effect. You reap what you sow. Okay, that is not always true. Someone may come into the Dojo with a bad attitude and I train with him or her. I didn’t cause their bad attitude. However, how I respond to them will affect them. If I view them as a friend and training partner, perhaps I can show some understanding and compassion for whatever has caused their distress. To cause an effect, I must make a connection. I cannot stand on the outside and affect change from a distance. I must enter, connect, and blend with them physically, mentally, and perhaps emotionally, to have any influence. Without this connectedness, I am only a spectator giving my tacit permission for the continuation of the conflict.

Connectedness means getting involved because ultimately we all win or we all lose. The old competitive mindset of win-lose no longer is accepted as a viable means of conflict resolution. If someone in my relationship or family hurts or loses, we all hurt and lose. Many modern mental, psychological, and emotional problems find their origin in the existential angst of believing we are all alone and no one cares. Healing comes from finding that connectedness which breaks through isolation and false self-judgments. This thought of win-win or lose-lose connectedness extends easily to our neighborhoods, communities, cities, states, countries, and no doubt the world. The butterfly effect suggests that even a butterfly flapping its wings on the other side of the world, by connecting the dots, has an influence on the weather everywhere.

The Tibetan Buddhist believes we have a very deep connection. Because we all live a multitude of lives, at one time or another, we have each been members of the same family. Everyone deserves the respect and gratitude I would give my parents. Everyone deserves the love, support, and protection I would give my children.

There is only one Aikido. There may be different organizations, with different emphasis and teaching styles, but there are more similarities than actual differences and it all comes from O’Sensei. We can even establish the connectedness with other Aiki-jutsu systems by connecting the dots back even further. I feel this connectedness through my Aikido lineage. My teacher, Sensei Dang Thong Phong, trained under Sensei Nakazono who was a student of O’Sensei. Phong Sensei also training under O’Sensei and Doshu Kisshomaru and received his Sandan directly from them. I can see that direct line from my daily training to O’Sensei. Somehow, if I connect the dots right, we are connected.

Thanks for listening, for the opportunity to be of service, and for sharing the journey. Now get back to training. KWATZ!